Golf Terms and Caddy Speak

[metallion]

Visiting buddy asks whether he'd be able to carry the lake.

- Can do, but hit it like it owed you money.

[Yoda]

Sam decides he can carry the lake on 18 to win all three ways:

Sam: [Loudly] Gimme my 3-wood, Smiley, I'm goin' for it!

Opponent #1: Been playin' with ya twenty years, Sam. You'll never make it. And I got a hundred that says you won't.

Sam: $100? You're on!

Our hero settles in over the ball and takes a waggle...

Opponent #2: Sam, I'd like a little of that action, too. There's no way you can carry the water.

Sam: Awright, you're on for a hundy, too.

Our hero waggles once again...

Partner: Sam, I hate to do this -- really, I do -- but there's just no way. I've got a Ben Franklin right here. Sorry, ol' buddy.

Sam: Et tu, Brute? Fine! I'll show you all!

Our hero once again steps into the shot, then backs away and turns to the caddy:

"Smiley, better gimme an old ball."

[Collin Neeman]

when you hit a bad ball but turns out good RBU rotten but useful

[metallion]

This divot is so deep, I can smell Chinese food.

[neil]

A Giraffes Ar**-a skied driver.....( high and smelly)

[metallion]

All square arriving to the par 4 18th. You opponent splits the fairway with what's probably his best teeshot of the day. After admiring the trajectory and seeing the ball bounce away down the fairway and coming to rest in "position A" he turns to you with a grin.

That's when you utter:

- Great shot. Leaving yourself just a stock 9-iron, a chip and 3 putts!